CIFR Stock's Amazon Deal: Hype or Hope?
Cipher Mining's Bonkers AWS Deal: Genius Move or Next Crypto Crash?
Okay, let's get this straight. Cipher Mining, a crypto miner—yes, that Cipher Mining—is suddenly in bed with Amazon Web Services for a $5.5 BILLION deal? My first thought? Someone's been hitting the hopium pipe a little too hard.
They're gonna deliver 300 megawatts of capacity to AWS starting next year, for AI workloads. AI! So, they're pivoting from burning electricity to mine imaginary coins to… burning electricity to train algorithms that will probably replace us all anyway? Sounds about right for 2025. What I want to know is: who at AWS signed off on this? Did they just wake up one morning and think, "You know what we need? A crypto miner!"
Colchis: West Texas-Sized Dreams?
And then there's this "Colchis" site in West Texas, a joint venture with American Electric Power for a gigawatt of power. A gigawatt! That's enough to power a small city, or, you know, a really big Bitcoin farm. Cipher Mining's going to majority finance it, too, with 95% equity. What could possibly go wrong?
American Electric Power will build a dual interconnection facility, supposedly energized by 2028, pending ERCOT approval. ERCOT, of course, being the Texas grid operator that nearly collapsed a few years ago. So, yeah, smooth sailing ahead.
Honestly, this whole thing feels like a house of cards built on a foundation of hopium and hype. They missed revenue estimates this quarter ($71.71 million vs. $78.6 million expected), but beat earnings estimates (10 cents per share vs. a 2-cent loss). So, the stock jumps 23%? Give me a break. According to Stocks making the biggest moves premarket: Iren, Kenvue, Cipher Mining, New Gold and more - CNBC, Cipher Mining was indeed one of the stocks making significant moves in premarket trading.
The Art of the Pivot (or the Pander?)
The real story here, as I see it, is the desperation to appear relevant. Crypto is tanking (again), so suddenly everyone is an AI infrastructure provider. It's like watching a band that used to play death metal suddenly release a bubblegum pop album. Sure, maybe they’ll get some new fans, but at what cost to their soul?
I mean, let's be real: Cipher Mining is a crypto miner. They're good at one thing: consuming massive amounts of electricity to solve pointless math problems. Now, they want us to believe they can just switch gears and become a major player in the AI space? Maybe I'm just too cynical, but I ain't buying it. Not for a second.
The 15-year lease agreement with AWS is valued at $5.5 billion. That's a lot of money. A lot of money. It's like betting the entire farm on a single hand of poker. If this AI thing doesn't pan out, Cipher Mining is toast. And honestly, who's going to be left holding the bag? That's right, the shareholders.
